Today we’re going to talk about a topic that is often difficult to discuss – infidelity in marriage and we’ll be focusing on the biblical understanding of this issue. Let’s dive in!

What is Infidelity in Marriage? #

Infidelity in marriage is the act of being unfaithful to one’s spouse. This can take various forms, including physical affairs, emotional affairs, and pornography. Regardless of the form, infidelity always has a detrimental effect on the marriage.

Biblical Perspective on Infidelity #

The Bible has a lot to say about infidelity. Let’s take a look at some verses that address this issue:

“You shall not commit adultery.” – Exodus 20:14 (NKJV)

“For the commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not bear false witness,’ ‘You shall not covet,’ and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'” – Romans 13:9 (NKJV)

“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NKJV)

These verses make it clear that infidelity is not in line with God’s plan for marriage. Marriage is a covenant between two people and God, and it should be honoured and respected.

Why is Infidelity Wrong? #

Infidelity is wrong for many reasons. First and foremost, it is a violation of the marriage covenant. When two people get married, they make a commitment to each other and to God to be faithful and loyal. Infidelity breaks that commitment and damages the relationship.

Infidelity also causes emotional pain and trauma for the betrayed spouse. It can lead to feelings of betrayal, anger, and depression. Additionally, infidelity often leads to a breakdown in trust and communication, which are essential components of a healthy marriage.

How to Avoid Infidelity? #

Preventing infidelity requires effort and commitment from both partners. Here are some steps that couples can take to avoid infidelity:

1. Communicate openly and honestly – Communication is key in any relationship. Couples should feel comfortable discussing their feelings, desires, and concerns with each other.
2. Set boundaries – Couples should establish clear boundaries regarding what is and isn’t acceptable in their relationship. This includes boundaries around friendships with members of the opposite sex, social media use, and pornography.
3. Stay committed – Couples should remain committed to each other and to their marriage. This means putting in the effort to maintain a strong and healthy relationship.
4. Seek help if needed – If there are issues in the relationship, seek help from a counsellor, therapist, or pastor. Don’t wait until it’s too late to address problems.

How to Address Infidelity? #

If infidelity has occurred in a marriage, it is important to address it as soon as possible. Here are some steps that couples can take to address infidelity:

• Acknowledge the issue – The first step is to acknowledge that infidelity has occurred and to take responsibility for it.
• Seek help – Both partners should seek help from a counsellor, therapist, or pastor to work through the issues.
• Be willing to forgive – Forgiveness is an essential component of healing from infidelity. Both partners should be willing to forgive each other and move forward.
• Rebuild trust – Rebuilding trust takes time and effort, but it is essential to the healing process. Both partners should be open and transparent with each other and work to establish new boundaries and expectations for the relationship.
• Take action – Both partners should take action to address the root causes of the infidelity and make changes to prevent it from happening again.
• Be patient – Healing from infidelity takes time and patience. Both partners should be willing to put in the effort and work together to rebuild the relationship.

The Importance of Keeping the Marriage Bed Undefiled

The Bible also speaks to the importance of keeping the marriage bed undefiled. This means that sexual relations should only occur within the context of marriage. Let’s take a look at some verses that address this issue:

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” – Hebrews 13:4 (NKJV)

“Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:13b (NKJV)

These verses make it clear that sexual relations should only occur within the context of marriage. Sexual purity is important to God, and it should be important to us as well.

Pray daily #

Prayer is an important aspect of maintaining a strong and healthy marriage. Praying together as a couple can help to strengthen the emotional connection and spiritual bond between spouses. Prayer also helps to remind couples of their commitment to God and to each other and can provide a sense of peace and comfort during difficult times.

When it comes to avoiding infidelity, prayer can help couples to resist temptation and remain faithful to each other. By seeking God’s guidance and strength, couples can overcome the temptation to stray from their marriage covenant and honour their commitment to each other.

In addition to prayer, following biblical principles is another key strategy for avoiding infidelity. This includes cultivating a strong emotional connection, practising forgiveness, setting boundaries, and prioritizing the relationship. By following these principles, couples can build strong and healthy relationships that are grounded in God’s truth and love.

It’s important to note that avoiding infidelity is not always easy. Temptations and challenges may arise, and couples may face difficult circumstances that test their relationship. However, by relying on God’s guidance and strength, and by following biblical principles, couples can overcome these challenges and maintain a strong and faithful marriage.

Praying together as a couple and following biblical principles are key strategies for avoiding infidelity and maintaining a strong and healthy marriage. By staying committed to each other and to God, couples can build a relationship that honours God and brings joy and fulfilment to their lives.

Ask for guidance #

Infidelity in marriage is a serious issue that can have devastating effects on the relationship. The Bible speaks to the importance of fidelity and sexual purity within the context of marriage. Couples can take steps to prevent infidelity by communicating openly, setting boundaries, and remaining committed to each other. If infidelity does occur, it is important to address it as soon as possible and work together to rebuild the relationship. By honouring the marriage covenant and keeping the marriage bed undefiled, couples can build strong and healthy relationships that honour God.

Another important aspect of addressing infidelity in marriage is seeking the guidance and support of trusted elders or family members. Sometimes, it may be difficult for couples to navigate this issue on their own. Seeking the help of a trusted pastor, elder, or counsellor can provide a safe and objective space to work through the issues and begin the healing process.

The Bible speaks to the importance of seeking wise counsel: #

“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” – Proverbs 11:14 (NKJV)

By involving trusted elders or family members, couples can gain additional perspectives and support in navigating the complexities of infidelity in marriage.

In conclusion, addressing infidelity in marriage requires commitment, open communication, and a willingness to seek help when needed. By remaining faithful to each other and honouring the marriage covenant, couples can build strong and healthy relationships that honour God.

By implementing these strategies and seeking support from trusted elders or family members, couples can strengthen their relationship and prevent infidelity. Remember, building a strong and healthy marriage takes time, effort, and a commitment to honouring God’s plan for marriage.

Sexual Purity #

Maintaining sexual purity is an important aspect of avoiding infidelity in marriage. The Bible emphasizes the importance of sexual purity and faithfulness in marriage and teaches that sexual intimacy is reserved for the marriage relationship alone.

As the Apostle Paul writes,

“Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.” This verse highlights the importance of sexual faithfulness within marriage, and emphasizes that sexual intimacy is a gift that God has given to be shared between husband and wife. (1 Corinthians 7:2)

In addition to being faithful to each other, couples should also take steps to maintain sexual purity in their marriage. This includes setting boundaries around sexual activity, being open and honest with each other about their needs and desires, and avoiding anything that could lead to temptation or compromise.

By prioritizing sexual purity in their marriage, couples can strengthen their emotional and physical connection, deepen their intimacy, and honour God’s design for sexual intimacy within marriage.

In conclusion, maintaining sexual purity is an important aspect of avoiding infidelity in marriage. By following biblical principles and setting boundaries around sexual activity, couples can strengthen their marriage and deepen their intimacy, while honouring God’s design for sexual intimacy within the marriage relationship.

Renewing the Mind Daily #

Renewing the mind daily is also an important aspect of avoiding infidelity in marriage. The Bible teaches that our thoughts and attitudes have a powerful impact on our actions and that we should seek to renew our minds with the truth of God’s Word.

 “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2)

This verse emphasizes the importance of renewing our minds and avoiding conformity to the patterns of this world, which can lead us away from God’s will for our lives.

For couples, renewing the mind daily can involve reading and meditating on scripture together, praying for each other’s spiritual growth, and engaging in regular worship and fellowship with other believers. By renewing their minds with the truth of God’s Word, couples can stay grounded in their faith and avoid being led astray by worldly influences.

In addition to these practices, couples should also strive to maintain a mindset of humility, forgiveness, and grace towards each other. By cultivating these attitudes, couples can avoid letting resentment and bitterness build-up, which can create fertile ground for infidelity.

Renewing the mind daily is an important aspect of avoiding infidelity in marriage. By staying grounded in God’s Word and cultivating a mindset of humility, forgiveness, and grace towards each other, couples can strengthen their marriage and avoid the pitfalls of infidelity.

Solving disagreements #

Solving disagreements and issues in a healthy way is also an important aspect of avoiding infidelity in marriage. Disagreements and issues are a normal part of any relationship, but when left unresolved, they can create bitterness and resentment that can ultimately lead to infidelity.

“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26-27 )

This verse highlights the importance of dealing with disagreements and issues in a timely and healthy way, so as not to give the devil a foothold in our relationships.

For couples, solving disagreements and issues can involve active listening, empathizing with each other’s perspectives, and seeking to find a mutually beneficial solution. It also involves being willing to apologize and forgive each other when mistakes are made.

By working together to solve disagreements and issues in a healthy way, couples can avoid letting bitterness and resentment build up, which can ultimately lead to infidelity. Instead, they can cultivate a relationship built on honesty, trust, and mutual respect.

In conclusion, solving disagreements and issues in a healthy way is an important aspect of avoiding infidelity in marriage. By dealing with issues in a timely and constructive way, couples can avoid letting bitterness and resentment build up, which can ultimately lead to infidelity.

Look at Christ always #

Another key aspect of avoiding infidelity in marriage is looking to Christ as our ultimate example of love and faithfulness. Husbands are instructed to,

“love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)

This verse shows that Christ’s sacrificial love for the church is the ultimate example for husbands to follow in loving their wives.

For both husbands and wives, looking to Christ can also provide a foundation of faithfulness and commitment in marriage.

Hebrews 13:4 (NKJV) reminds us that “Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

By honouring marriage as a sacred institution created by God, and looking to Christ as our example of love and faithfulness, we can cultivate a deep commitment to our spouse and a desire to honour them in all aspects of our relationship.

In addition, looking to Christ can also help us in renewing our minds daily and overcome temptation.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2 )

By filling our minds with the truth of God’s Word and looking to Christ as our example, we can resist the temptations that can lead to infidelity and instead live a life of faithfulness and integrity.

Looking to Christ as our ultimate example of love and faithfulness is an important aspect of avoiding infidelity in marriage. By honouring marriage as a sacred institution and renewing our minds daily with the truth of God’s Word, we can cultivate a deep commitment to our spouse and resist the temptations that can lead to infidelity.

Stop Flirting #

Flirting with someone who is not your spouse can be a slippery slope that can lead to infidelity.

“Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids.” (Proverbs 6:25)

While harmless flirting may seem innocent at first, it can quickly escalate and lead to temptation, which can lead to infidelity.

To avoid flirting with others, it is important to set clear boundaries and recognize when someone is flirting with you. By being intentional about maintaining appropriate boundaries, we can guard our hearts and minds against temptation. In addition, seeking accountability from a trusted friend or mentor can also be helpful in avoiding flirting and staying faithful to our spouse.

Ultimately, avoiding flirting comes down to a commitment to sexual purity in marriage and a desire to honour our spouse above all else. By focusing on our spouse and building a strong and loving relationship with them, we can avoid the temptation to flirt with others and instead cultivate a deep and lasting love for our spouse.

Avoiding flirting with someone who is not your spouse is an important aspect of sexual purity in marriage and can help guard against infidelity. By setting clear boundaries, seeking accountability, and focusing on our spouse, we can cultivate a deep and lasting love for our spouse and avoid the temptation to stray.

Guard your Heart #

Guarding your heart is an essential aspect of maintaining sexual purity in marriage.

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” (Proverbs 4:23)

This verse reminds us that what we allow into our hearts and minds will ultimately affect our actions and decisions.

To guard our hearts in the context of marriage, it is important to be intentional about the media we consume, the friends we keep, and the activities we engage in. We should strive to surround ourselves with positive influences that will build up our marriage and help us stay faithful to our spouse. Additionally, we should be careful not to expose ourselves to images or situations that could lead to temptation or compromise our values.

Guarding our hearts also involves being mindful of our thoughts and desires. It is important to recognize when our thoughts and desires are straying from our spouse and to take steps to refocus on our commitment to our marriage. This can involve prayer, seeking accountability, and being open and honest with our spouse about our struggles and temptations.

In conclusion, guarding our hearts is a crucial aspect of sexual purity in marriage. By being intentional about the influences we allow into our hearts and minds, being mindful of our thoughts and desires, and seeking accountability and support, we can stay faithful to our spouse and cultivate a strong and healthy marriage.

Nor give place to the devil #

Ephesians 4:27 (NKJV) says, “Nor give place to the devil.”

This verse reminds us that we should not give the devil any opportunity to tempt us or cause us to stumble in our faith. In the context of marriage, this means being vigilant and proactive in guarding against temptations and opportunities for infidelity.

One way to avoid giving a chance to the devil in marriage is to cultivate a strong prayer life and rely on God’s strength and guidance. By staying connected to God and seeking His wisdom and guidance in our daily lives, we can resist the temptations that the devil throws our way.

Another important step is to prioritize communication and honesty in our marriages. By being open and honest with our spouse about our struggles and temptations, we can work together to guard against infidelity and stay faithful to each other.

Finally, it is important to avoid situations or relationships that could compromise our values and commitment to our marriage. This can involve setting boundaries with friends or colleagues who may not share our values, avoiding certain media or entertainment that promotes infidelity, and seeking accountability and support from trusted friends and mentors.

We must be vigilant and proactive in guarding against the devil’s temptations and avoiding opportunities for infidelity in marriage. By staying connected to God, prioritizing communication and honesty, and avoiding compromising situations or relationships, we can stay faithful to our spouse and cultivate a strong and healthy marriage.

Avoid Lusting after Things #

James 1:14-15 (NKJV) warns us that “each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”

This means that we must be careful not to allow our desires for beauty, power, money, sex, or fame to lead us into temptation and sin.

In the context of marriage, this means being content with what we have and avoiding the temptation to seek fulfilment or satisfaction outside of our marriage. It also means being intentional about cultivating a strong and healthy relationship with our spouse, rather than allowing our desires for external validation or pleasure to overshadow our commitment to our marriage.

One practical step we can take to avoid lusting after beauty, power, money, sex, or fame is to focus on gratitude and contentment in our daily lives. By recognizing and appreciating the blessings and joys that we already have, we can avoid the temptation to seek fulfilment in things that ultimately cannot satisfy us.

Another important step is to stay connected to our spouse and prioritize our relationship over external desires or distractions. This can involve setting aside intentional time for quality time and communication with our spouse, as well as seeking support and accountability from trusted friends and mentors.

In conclusion, we must be careful not to allow our desires for beauty, power, money, sex, or fame to lead us into temptation and sin. By focusing on gratitude, contentment, and a strong commitment to our marriage, we can avoid the temptation to seek fulfilment outside of our relationship and cultivate a healthy and fulfilling marriage.

Final Thoughts #

Infidelity in marriage is a serious issue that can cause significant damage to a relationship. However, by following biblical principles and seeking guidance and support from trusted elders or family members, couples can work through the issues and build a strong and healthy marriage that honours God. Remember, marriage is a sacred covenant between two people and with God, and it is worth fighting for.

Let us Pray #

Dear Heavenly Father, we come before you with grateful hearts for your love, guidance, and faithfulness. We ask that You bless all marriages and relationships and that You help us to honour Your plan for marriage. Help us to remain faithful to our spouses, and to cultivate strong and healthy relationships that are grounded in your love and truth. We pray for those who are struggling with infidelity in their marriage, that you would provide comfort, healing, and guidance. We ask for wisdom and discernment as we seek to navigate the complexities of relationships and honour you in all that we do. In Jesus’ name, we pray, Amen.

Blessings,

Shaliach.

New King James Version (NKJV) – Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. All rights reserved.