Introduction #
This post discusses the importance of living selflessly with your wife in a healthy and fulfilling marriage. It highlights the need to love sacrificially, serve willingly, communicate openly, forgive freely, and put your wife’s needs first. The post draws insights from various biblical principles and quotes from Christian books and leaders, emphasizing the significance of a Christ-like love in marriage that is not self-serving or easily angered, but patient, kind, and willing to bear all things. It also emphasizes the importance of forgiveness and open communication in creating an atmosphere of grace and love that strengthens the relationship.
Disclaimer: Please note that any quotes by others included in this blog have been rephrased and written in our own words for the purposes of clarity and brevity.
Love sacrificially #
One of the most well-known verses on love in the Bible is found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. It reads,
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 — “Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up. It is not rude, it is not self-serving, and it is not easily angered or resentful. It is not glad about injustice but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
This passage speaks to the kind of love that we should strive to have in our marriages. It is a love that is patient and kind, not self-serving or easily angered. It is a love that is willing to bear all things, even when it is difficult or uncomfortable. It is a sacrificial love that puts the needs and desires of our spouse above our own.
In his book, “The Meaning of Marriage,” Tim Keller writes,
“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything.”
Living selflessly with your wife means that we seek to know her deeply and love her sacrificially, just as Christ loved us. This kind of love is not based on what we can get out of the relationship, but on what we can give.
Serve willingly #
Another way to live selflessly with your wife is to serve her willingly. In Philippians 2:3-4, the apostle Paul writes,
Philippians 2:3-4 — “Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests but about the interests of others as well.”
This passage reminds us that we should not be motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, but rather by a desire to serve others. In the context of marriage, this means that we should be willing to serve our wives in whatever ways they need, whether it is by doing household chores, helping with childcare, or simply listening when they need someone to talk to.
In his book, “Love and Respect,” Dr Emerson Eggerichs writes,
“A man should not give to get, but should give to give. He should give because it brings him a pleasure to make his wife happy. He should give because it honours God.”
Living selflessly with your wife means that we serve her willingly, not because we expect something in return, but because it brings us joy to make her happy and honours God.
Communicate openly #
Another important aspect of living selflessly with your wife is to communicate openly. In Ephesians 4:15-16, Paul writes,
Ephesians 4:15-16 — But practising the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Christ, who is the head. From him, the whole body grows, fitted and held together through every supporting ligament. As each one does its part, the body grows in love.”
This passage speaks to the importance of speaking the truth in love and working together as a team. In marriage, it is important to communicate openly and honestly with our spouses, even when it is difficult or uncomfortable. This means that we listen to our spouse’s concerns and feelings, and we express our own in a respectful and constructive way.
In his book, “The Five Love Languages,” Dr Gary Chapman writes,
“Open and honest communication is the key to any healthy relationship, and that includes marriage. When we speak the truth in love and listen to our spouse with empathy and understanding, we create a safe and supportive environment where we can grow closer to one another.”
Living selflessly with your wife means that you communicate openly and honestly with her, and you listen to her with empathy and understanding.
Forgive freely #
Another important aspect of living selflessly with your wife is to forgive freely. In Colossians 3:13, Paul writes,
Colossians 3:13 — “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
This passage reminds us that forgiveness is a key component of any healthy relationship, including marriage. When we forgive our spouses for their mistakes and shortcomings, we create an atmosphere of grace and love, which can strengthen our relationship.
In his book, “The Meaning of Marriage,” Tim Keller writes,
“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything.”
Living selflessly with your wife means that we forgive her freely, just as Christ forgave us. We choose to let go of past hurts and focus on the present and future of our relationship.
Put her needs first #
Finally, living selflessly with your wife means that we put her needs first. In Philippians 2:3-4, Paul writes,
Philippians 2:3-4 — “Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests but about the interests of others as well.”
This passage reminds us that we should not be motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, but rather by a desire to serve others. In the context of marriage, this means that we should prioritize our spouse’s needs and desires above our own.
In his book, “Love and Respect,” Dr Emerson Eggerichs writes,
“A man should not give to get but should give to give. He should give because it brings him a pleasure to make his wife happy. He should give because it honours God.”
Living selflessly with your wife means that we put her needs first, not because we expect something in return, but because it brings us joy to make her happy and honours God.
Prayer #
Prayer is an essential component of any healthy relationship, including marriage. As Christians, we believe that prayer is a way to communicate with God and seek His guidance and wisdom in our lives.
In his book, “The Power of a Praying Husband,” Stormie Omartian writes,
“Prayer is the greatest gift you can give your wife. Through prayer, you are loving her, honouring her, and seeking God’s very best for her. You are also covering her with God’s protection and power.”
Living selflessly with your wife means that we make prayer a priority in our relationship. We pray for her needs, her dreams, and her well-being. We seek God’s guidance in our decisions and ask for His wisdom in our communication and interactions with our spouses.
Matthew 18:20 — “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
When we pray together as a couple, we invite Jesus to be present in our relationship and guide us in our journey together.
In conclusion, a prayer is a powerful tool for living selflessly with your wife. By making prayer a priority in our relationship, we invite God to be present in our marriage and guide us in our journey together. Let us commit to praying for our wives daily, seeking God’s wisdom and guidance in our interactions and decisions as a couple.
Fellowship #
Hebrews 10:24-25 — “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
This passage reminds us of the importance of meeting together with other believers, encouraging one another, and stirring up love and good works. As married couples, we can seek out opportunities to fellowship with other couples and build relationships that encourage and support us in our marriage.
In his book, “Sacred Marriage,” Gary Thomas writes,
“Marriage isn’t just a union between two people, it’s a spiritual discipline that can bring us closer to God. By learning to love selflessly, forgive freely, and serve willingly, we become more like Christ and deepen our relationship with Him.”
Living selflessly with your wife means that we seek out opportunities to fellowship with other believers and build relationships that encourage and support us in our marriage. We can participate in small groups, attend church events, and seek out mentorship from older couples who can offer guidance and support.
In conclusion, fellowship is an important component of living selflessly with your wife. By seeking out opportunities to build relationships with other believers, we can deepen our faith and grow in our relationships with our spouse and with God. Let us commit to prioritizing fellowship in our marriage and seeking out opportunities to build relationships that encourage and support us.
Fellowship is another important aspect of living selflessly with your wife. As Christians, we believe that we were created for community and that fellowship with other believers can help us grow in our faith and relationships.
Guidance from the Holy Spirit #
Living selflessly with your wife also involves relying on the Holy Spirit for guidance and strength. As Christians, we believe that the Holy Spirit is our helper and guide and that He empowers us to live a life that honours God and serves others.
John 14:26 –“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”
The Holy Spirit is our advocate, counsellor, and guide. He teaches us all things and reminds us of what Jesus has taught us. In our marriages, we can rely on the Holy Spirit to give us wisdom, discernment, and strength to love and serve our spouse selflessly.
In his book, “Forgotten God,” Francis Chan writes,
“The Holy Spirit empowers us to live a life that is beyond our own ability. He gives us strength to love, wisdom to discern, and courage to serve. When we rely on Him, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.”
Living selflessly with your wife means that we rely on the Holy Spirit for guidance and strength. We ask for His wisdom in our decisions and His strength in our struggles. We trust in His power to transform our hearts and minds and to empower us to love and serve our spouses selflessly.
In conclusion, relying on the Holy Spirit is an essential component of living selflessly with your wife. By seeking His guidance and strength, we can love and serve our spouse selflessly and honour God in our marriage. Let us commit to relying on the Holy Spirit in our marriages and seeking His guidance and strength in all that we do.
Conclusion #
Living selflessly with your wife is not always easy, but it is an essential component of a healthy and fulfilling marriage. By loving sacrificially, serving willingly, communicating openly, forgiving freely, and putting her needs first, we can create a relationship that honours God and brings us joy.
In conclusion, marriage is a sacred union between two individuals who commit to loving and supporting each other for life. While challenges are inevitable, couples can strengthen their relationship by prioritizing communication, trust, and forgiveness. Additionally, it’s essential to seek guidance from mentors, embrace fellowship with other believers, rely on the power of the Holy Spirit, and regularly pray for each other and their marriage. By putting in the effort and seeking God’s guidance, couples can experience a fulfilling and lasting marriage.
As we strive to live selflessly with our wives, let us remember the words of Jesus,
John 13:34-35 — “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples if you have a love for one another.”
Blessing,
Shaliach.
